School’s out…forever

classroomWe’ve taken the scary decision to home school Nora. In fairness, this decision is easier for us than it is for most parents. She hasn’t been at school for over a year so it’s not a huge change.

She is getting an education of sorts (provided by the Local Authority). As soon as we inform the school we’re taking Nora off the register, we’ll lose that support. But it’s not like we’re moving from having her in school for seven hours every day.

Even still, deciding to home educate is a huge step. I’ve always been in favour of mainstream schooling. Until now, I’ve never understood why some parents would choose to take their children out of school, believing they can do a better job than qualified teachers.

School-topI am still friends with the people I went to school with and those friendships are as important to me today as they were over thirty years ago. I’ve watched Nora’s brother form similar friendships, and I’m sure many of those will last throughout his life just as mine have done. It’s what I’d hoped for Nora too.

But you know what? I’ve realised the school system simply doesn’t suit all children. And that’s not always because of friendship issues.

Many people assume (wrongly) that Nora’s mental health problems were the result of bullying. She has never been bullied. She was hugely popular in primary school and seemed to have a lot of friends during her short time in secondary school. So much so that, a year later, she has managed to maintain those friendships despite her absence from the classroom and playground.

So, if it’s not bullying, what is it?

For Nora (and, I suspect, many other children) the focus in too many secondary schools on discipline and academic output doesn’t work. In Nora’s case, I’d go further and say it’s hugely detrimental.

My daughter is creative. She writes poetry, she creates wonderful art, she loves acting. She is intellectually curious – her favourite subjects are Philosophy, Psychology and Politics. It’s no longer possible to study any of these subjects at GCSE level.

Nora is dyslexic. This makes it difficult for her to focus and concentrate (and, therefore, learn) in a class of 30 children. Her dyslexia becomes noticeably worse when she’s anxious. Being in a classroom, struggling to understand what’s going on (or trying to study a subject she has zero interest in), makes her anxious. The more anxious she becomes, the more she struggles to read and write. And so on….

I had always hoped Nora would go back to school at some point. It’s taken me a while to get my head around the whole idea of homeschooling. But now I’ve started to think about it properly, I’m excited. I’m terrified too, of course. I have no idea how I’ll manage home schooling around work.

But we’ll work it out. Like me, my husband never envisaged we’d end up being ‘home school parents’. But he can also see that home schooling Nora is the right thing to do.

We got through the last year when our beautiful daughter became so ill we thought we’d lose her. If we can do that, we can do anything. I know we’ll work it out, somehow. And I know, beyond any doubt, we’ve made the right decision for Nora.

After everything she’s been through, that’s the only thing that matters.

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Mental health and education

Rant alert: if you’d rather not listen to me having a good old rant, stop reading now.

classroomWhen your child is too ill to go to school, your local authority is obliged to offer you alternative access to education. In Nora’s case, she gets ten hours of online learning each week, and two one-to-one hour-long sessions with a tutor .

Ten hours of online learning probably doesn’t sound like a lot, but it’s a challenge for Nora. She is severely dyslexic so trying to concentrate on a screen-based lesson for two consecutive hours is exhausting. And she is still recovering from a debilitating illness, which means she gets tired very easily.

The pressure of having to log on for two hours a day has added to her general anxiety. Clearly, this isn’t ideal. Her CAMHS counsellor has told us that putting too much pressure on Nora at this stage could be detrimental to her recovery.

So, I contacted the learning provider. Our conversation went like this:

Learning Provider (LP): She really should try to log on to every class.

Me: Well, CAMHS have strongly advised this isn’t a good idea and I need to ease her back into learning slowly.

LP (slightly dismissive): Oh, CAMHS always say that.

Me: Really? Why?

LP: They only care about the child’s mental health.

Me: Um…

That was yesterday. I’m still speechless. Surely Nora’s mental health is all that matters?

To add insult to injury, I’ve since found out that Nora’s usual English class has been cancelled for the next two weeks and she will have to join an older class. I only realised this when we tried to access her usual class and it wasn’t available. When I questioned why this was, the provider told me that Nora’s English teacher is on jury service so Nora’s class will have to join an older class for the next two weeks.

This morning, I emailed the provider to ask how it will benefit Nora to spend two weeks in a class designed for older students, discussing a book she’s never read. So far, I haven’t had a reply.

The whole experience has left me pretty dispirited. It’s made me question whether the alternative support we’re getting is less about Nora’s education and more about ticking boxes.

Is the number of times Nora logs on to an online class – even one not aimed at her age or ability – really more important than her mental health? Apparently some people think it is.

End of rant.

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